Riding requires a lot of work in the saddle. But since I can’t afford to ride every day, I have to supplement my riding workouts with a lot more work on the ground.
So as you can tell from our recent photoshoot, I’m not as small as Amanda, nor will I ever be. My frame is just not built to be that tiny. But I can afford to lose a few pounds for the sake of my spine. I’m not saying I’m fat. But my BMI says I’m overweight. I realize that it’s not the only indicator of healthy weight; however, it is one I’m paying attention to. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. None of my favorite clothes fit. It’s also affecting my riding. My posture is awful, as you can probably see from my last video. I know horses weigh upwards of 1200 pounds, but that doesn’t mean that my weight is easy to carry, especially over fences. Audio is an older gelding. I want to make his life easier. Not to mention, if I’m planning on showing, I need to fit in my show clothes again. So weight loss is a big goal of mine. I’ve joined a gym, and I’m planning on making some healthier eating choices, but it’s definitely gonna be an uphill battle.
Another thing about me that you may not know is that I battle severe depression as well as generalized anxiety disorder. (If you’re curious about that, you can read more at my personal blog, Please Don’t Pet the Puppy.) Just before the end of 2014, I had a major breakdown when I was working three jobs at once. So I’m putting myself first. I’ve been bad about putting others before me to the point of compromising my health. That’s finally going to change. From now on, I’m doing what it takes to chase down my own happiness. (And yes, that includes lots of barn time.)
Lastly, I’m going to get back to school. Even if I finish my degree one class at a time, I want to get back to school. I love learning. And as much as I adore my current job, I don’t want to work in retail my whole life. A college degree is the secret to getting a better job. Maybe I could get a job at SmartPak. Who knows! I’ll never find out unless I secure a degree, though, so before the end of 2015, I’m gonna get back to learning. I’ll be an online student this time so I can keep my job.