So as you may or may not have noticed from all the pictures that exist of me riding, I own exactly one pair of breeches. (Well, I own three, but one pair has mysteriously disappeared and another pair is way too big on me.) Recently I have decided that I probably need to rectify this. I’m not a breeches hoarder by any means like some of y’all are, but I would really like to have at least one pair of well-fitting tan (I could also do khaki or a softer rust) breeches in case I ever go off-property for a clinic or even to a show, or something like that.
There’s just one problem: I am exceedingly picky about my breeches, and most things on the market? Don’t work for me.
- Mid or high/regular rise. The higher the better. I want my breeches to hit my ribcage. Unfortunately this eliminates a ton of otherwise great breeches – but I cannot deal with a low rise breech at all.
- Front zip. I actually don’t really have a comfort-based preference for front vs. side zip; I just think it looks stupid to wear your belt buckle on your hip and because of that I only wear front zip breeches.
- Classic styling. None of this stripey technical kneepatch shit for me. It doesn’t have to be deerskin or anything, but I really do prefer simple. If you look at my breeches and say to yourself, “Boring!”, then I have succeeded. I’d be more flexible on this if these were for schooling (I can’t tell you how much my inner funky fashionista lusts after those houndstooth Aztec Diamond breeches that Amanda has, or a pair of orange Schockemoehles) but what I’m looking for right now are going to be my ‘nice’ breeches, so… they need to look nice.
- In the $150-range or cheaper. Self, you’ve waited four years for your Le Fash; you can wait a little longer.
Do not wants:
- Wide waistband. No. All my belts are Normal Size Belts and I am not buying more belts to fit with whatever look is currently trending.
- Excessive branding. So, y’know, nothing by SmartPak (SP, I like you, but please stop plastering your name everywhere).
- Thick crunchy fabric. I like my breeches very formfitting and stretchy, and they have to breathe because of the extreme heat we get in the summer. This also puts the classic Tailored Sportsmans right out.
I don’t really care about euro seats or sock bottoms or special seaming/cuts or how well the fabric hides cellulite. I am blessed with the type of body that will basically look good in anything. For me, it’s mostly about fit (harder than you would expect) and the aforementioned very specific aesthetic things.
I am planning on taking a trip to the good tack store sometime in the next week or so and hopefully they will be able to help me out, but in all my extensive online searching, I haven’t been able to find anything that fits my criteria. Am I being too picky? Most of these things I am not willing to sacrifice on (the only one I would is the waistband and maybe price, and even then, it would have to be otherwise perfect).
So I’m leaving it to you, dear readers: have you ever come across a breech that might work for me? Even if you have a favourite that isn’t necessarily what I’m looking for, please tell me about it!